Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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