I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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