I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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