Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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