he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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