Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
