the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Randomize
