My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize