I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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