After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you would pick up someone in the library
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
