You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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