I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
