so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize