chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
