clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
