No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
