My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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