Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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