Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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