Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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