Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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