I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
