He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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