She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize