I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i came on her dog
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
When are your genitals available?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
