id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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