someone get that fucking seahorse.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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