I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
