Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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