then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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