you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
