He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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