why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My bed smells like the plague
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
