dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
