Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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