WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
