pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
