I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
