This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Alive.
So much puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize