Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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