Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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