i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I am mentally ready for anal.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
