Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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