What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize