just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
