woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You dont lie about slip and slides
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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