my mouth tastes like poor choices
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
