I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
