chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
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He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
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I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I think my moral compass just broke
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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