I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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