finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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