I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
