I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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