Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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