this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
