the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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