# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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