We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
