the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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